It’s a mom’s worst nightmare for their kids to feel stressed, anxious, uncertain of their place in the world, and disheartened, as a result. Normally, the ordinary structures and routines of a loving household will help to prevent or resolve this kind of issue. But what happens when things are thrown up in the air by external events?
Families move homes for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes, it’s because one or both parents have a lucrative job opportunity overseas that is too good to pass up. Sometimes, it’s because the neighbourhood they’ve been living in up to that point has changed for the worst, and better prospects lie elsewhere.
It’s one thing to know how to buy property in an attractive location that will suit your family and your lifestyle well.
It’s quite another thing to help your kids to adjust to the new environment, without leaving them stranded in a state of uncertainty, confusion, and upheaval, for any longer than is absolutely unavoidable.
There’s no simple “A, B, C” formula for ensuring that your kids get settled into a new home effortlessly. But there are a few tips that might be helpful – so, here are some of those.
Restore a base level of structure as soon as possible – get your kids situated in their own rooms, and unpack their most meaningful belongings in a hurry
Kids – especially young kids – exist in a very chaotic and uncertain world. They are highly dependent on their parents, and don’t have much understanding of how things work more broadly, or have much, if any, ability to navigate the world on their own.
For that reason, one of the most important things to provide for your children is a sense of structure and order.
Of course, a move to a new home is pretty much a departure from a familiar and structured environment, in favour of an unfamiliar and “chaotic” one. The further away you’re moving, the more extreme this contrast tends to be.
The first step to getting your kids settled in the new home, is to restore a base level of structure in their lives, as soon as possible.
One of the key ways of doing this, is to get their bedrooms set up as quickly as possible, with all their most meaningful and essential belongings unpacked and organised as well as they possibly can be.
If you keep your kids waiting for weeks before their bedrooms resemble anything like an orderly environment, you’re only ensuring that they remain mired in a sense of uncertainty and anxiety, and are likely to come to associate the home with those traits.
Maybe the living room will take a while to get properly set up. Maybe your own bedroom will be a bit messy over the coming weeks. But get your kids’ rooms fully organised and unpacked as soon as possible.
That way, they’ll have a familiar and structured place to retreat to, even if everything else is in a state of upheaval.
Give your kids something to do to occupy their time while you’re getting established in the new home
Assuming your move has meant that you’re living in a significantly different environment to the one you were in before – and that this will have involved you moving your kids to a different school, for example – it’s likely that your kids are going to be pretty bored when they first arrive at their new home.
Think about it. They don’t have their friends to play with any more, they don’t know the area, their normal routines have been turned upside down, and so what are they meant to be doing with their time?
In order to help keep your kids’ spirits up, you should actively take steps to give them something to do to occupy their time, while you’re getting established in the new home and area.
This could mean, for example, buying them a new set of books if they are avid readers, getting them a games console they’ve been wanting for ages, or getting them involved in local activities and clubs.
Most options will be preferable to leaving them to sit around and feel bored, and despondent, indefinitely.
Eat meals together as a family, at set times, around the dinner table
This goes back to the point of re-establishing a sense of order in the home – but it also encompasses the need for the family to come together and lean on each other emotionally, both in general, but also during the move specifically.
Eating meals together as a family, at set times, is a great way of drawing the family unit closer together, while also creating a sense of structure and familiarity in the new home environment.
Even if you haven’t ever really been in the habit of eating meals around a dinner table, previously, it’s well worth picking up the habit once you’ve carried out a home move.
Human beings have been eating communally since time immemorial, and it can do a lot of good in terms of boosting well-being and solidifying interpersonal bonds.
Go on family day trips to familiarise your kids with the local area
Assuming you’ve moved to a new area, and not just a new home, it’s as important to familiarise your kids – and yourself – with the local area, as with the house itself.
To this end, you should make a point of going on family day trips when you can manage it, both as a way of becoming familiar with the local environment, and also as a way of helping to lift everyone’s spirits, and have a bit of fun.
Do some research about the best attractions in your new locale. Maybe there is a great amusement park that gets rave reviews, or a cool historical site, or even just a relaxing park or botanical garden which would serve as a great environment for a picnic.
Disclosure: This is a collaborative post.
