“Just the one?” “No plans for anymore?” these are questions as a mother to one I get asked all the time – it’s as if one child could never be enough. Most of the time I do that nervous laugh we as Brits are famed for in a bid to move the conversation on. Occasionally I will reply with that it would be a bit hard to have another child seeing as I’m single – however even as I say it I’ll often think of how that’s no longer a barrier to motherhood. I’m always amazed at just how brazen and nosey people can be when it comes to your family set up. Gone are the days of the traditional 2.4 family set up being the only way – now families come in every shape and size. In my life I’ve been part of a blended family, single parent family, and as a parent I’ve been both a mother to Boo and a stepmother to her brothers. Families come in all shapes and sizes and thankfully there’s no ‘normal’ anymore.
Having blogged as a mother for over six years I receive lots of messages from women who want to know what it is truly like to be a single parent; I’m always honest and explain how incredibly hard parenthood is regardless of whether there is one, two or even three of you raising a child. Yes many hands make light work but that really isn’t what having a baby is all about – only a very tiring side effect! One thing I’ve learnt from talking to a whole variety of women is that there are lots who have the feeling of: I want to be a mother but I’m single. For so many women the journey to motherhood is one they feel most follow a certain path and as any parent will tell you the rule book goes out the window as soon as baby arrives as you find your own way; so why should the road to becoming a parent be any different?
Becoming a mother is the single most life changing and defining decision in my life. I love Boo with all that I am and all that I do – she is me and I her. Having started adulthood not wanting children (I was absolutely adamant that motherhood wasn’t for me!) I understand that life and what we want from it changes. If you think about it, relationships have the capacity to come and go in your life but once you become a parent that bonds for life. If I had found myself single and wanting a baby I would be encouraged to learn how it’s possible; to become a single mum by choice – such an empowering message.
I admire anyone who makes a conscious decision to seek out motherhood – I promise it will be the best thing you do and when a child calls out Mama they don’t care how you got to being their mother they just care you’re there and love everything about you.
Disclosure: A fee was received for this post.
