Co-parenting involves raising children as a single parent after separation or divorce, and it is also sometimes referred to as joint or shared parenting.
Emotionally taxing and stressful, divorce can be a difficult process to experience. From coping with the intense emotions that come with it as well as managing financial and family matters, it may feel like everything is out of your control. But when it comes to child custody and co-parenting, there are many things you can do to help make this transition as stress-free as possible for both yourself and your children.
Communication is key.
Whether this is through regular phone calls, emails, text messages or face-to-face meetings, make sure to keep open communication with your co-parent. Discuss things thoroughly to avoid needless accusation and miscommunication. Not only will this make the situation easier for the both of you, but it can also be vital for your child growing up.
Likewise, be as communicative with your children. Listen to them. Rather than judging and dictating their feelings, acknowledge that they too are affected by this separation. Let them know that their current feelings are valid but that these are temporary. Time will heal. Make sure they know that you will always be there to support them.
Agree on rules at both households.
Consistency is key, and even if the children complain, routine and structure are needed for day to day life. Things like mealtimes,bedtimes and chores, as well as time for homework, must be agreed on in both households. Not only will this mean that your children will have a comfortable routine to follow but it also provides a sense of security in a period of uncertainty.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
With the challenges of divorce and the emotional rollercoaster it brings, there may be things that are new and unknown to you. Whether this is handling family matters or how best to deal with the financial side of separation, don’t forget that you can ask for help. If the stress of the divorce is affecting your emotions, try consulting a counselloror joining support groups. Having someone to talk to or a safe place where you can share your experiences will do great things for your mental health and may even give you a new perspective on the situation.
Seeking the help of a solicitor in your area when it comes to the Family Proceedings court may be a good idea, andyou can find family law solicitors in Slough through a simple search or have friends and family refer you to suggestions. The important thing to remember is that you are never alone and asking for help is not something to be ashamed of, but instead,something to be encouraged.
Don’t expose children to conflict.
Your children will also be affected by the divorce, but that does not mean they must be burdened with the challenges it brings. Whether it be emotionally-driven issues with your co-parent or past troubles, keep negative talk at a minimum. This will not only make it worse between you and your co-parent but will expose your children to developmental issues that may lead to feelings of insecurity in the future.
Encourage your children to spend time with their extended family like grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins on both sides of the family. This will help your children’s sociability and also instill a sense of belonging. When talking about your co-parent, make sure you never point fingers or place them under a negative light.
Separation can be tough on both parents and children, but with a few pointers and things to keep in mind, you can make this transition and time of uncertainty as easier for both parties as possible.
Disclosure: This is a collaborative post.
