Throughout life, things are going to happen which you had not planned on, and that are often out of your control. Separating from a partner is never something you expect to happen in your life, but sometimes things just work out differently than you thought they would. Separation can already be a very difficult time in a person’s life, but it is made all the more complicated when you share children with the person you are separating from. Supporting your children through this time will be difficult, but there are some simple steps you can take to make sure they know they are loved and valued no matter what happens within their parent’s relationship.
Be as honest as possible
Some children will grasp the concept of their parent’s separation a lot better than others, and often that is mostly down to their age and maturity. However, no matter the age of your child, if they are old enough to understand that a hugelife change is occurring, then it’s important to try and explain to them as best as you can that you are separating, and what that means. Try to agree with your ex-partner on how best to explain what is going on to your children, as the more consistent you are, the better they are going to grasp what is going on, and the more at ease they are going to feel.
Seek advice and support
During this stressful time, you don’t have to deal with everything alone. You can seek out advice and support from professionals who can help you find the best path through this change, such as counsellors to support both you and your children. You may also want to look into getting the best legal advice possible (for example, look into Crisp & Co Solicitors ) as going through a separation with children involved can sometimes be difficult to navigate.
You may want to get the support of children’s teachers, and let any other professionals in their lives know what is happening, to ensure everyone around your children can be understanding and supportive.
Try not to show bias
You may blame your partner for your separation, or be feeling a lot of negative emotions towards them during this time, however,it is vital that you try not to pass these feelings onto your children. This is going to be a difficult time in their lives, and they are going to be looking for security and unity between their parents to let them know that everything is okay. Children are very susceptible to influence, especially at a younger age, and they may feel personally hurt if they hear you talking negatively about your ex-partner. Seeing that two people who are no longer in a relationship can still cooperate together will also be a good life lesson for your children, and reassure them that things will continue to be okay.
Remind them they’re loved
Of course, this pretty much goes without saying, but this is the most important message you can get across to your children. Sometimes during a parental separation, some children can feel a little out of place, and they can be left very uncertain. Therefore, it is importantto remind them that they are always loved (by both of you) and make it clear that they are not being abandoned during this difficult time.
Disclosure: This is a collaborative post.
