Week 3 of shielding and the theme is Easter holidays if you’re a parent. Easter is a massive part of who we are as Catholics it’s new beginnings and everything that represents so I knew this was going to be hard. Easter eggs are taken care of a-la-Grandma’s weekly food drop (yes I know that the Easter Bunny and the Resurrection are a clash, some may even say a contradiction but we’re Catholic, the originators of contradiction) I’ve turned to food to make a celebration of Easter weekend, finding comfort in the ritual of planning, cooking and baking – there’s too much to share here so I’ve pulled it all together in a Easter in Lockdown post.
Shielding with a child is a contradiction in practice – it’s like a silent scream; you’re never alone so there’s no loneliness, however, being on your own is something I’ve craved, even fantasised about this week. I’m all touched out – a feeling I thought I’d left behind with the earlier years of motherhood. I’m of course acutely aware that this is harder for Boo, but that in some way just makes this all worse, layers upon layers of guilt build upon parenting anxiety laid out in-front the great vacuum of certainty.
Ironically the arrival of the holidays in whatever form they’ve now come to mean has coincided with us finding our way with a semblance of a routine; Boo’s mastered the toaster and now her breakfast knows no limitations when it comes to toppings or timings it would seem. I maintain even in these strange and unchartered times that breakfast has no place in our home before 7am. Time for us like everyone with a new singular postcode of existence is slow and elastic – the first couple of weeks saw us debating whether lunch at 11.30 was acceptable now it can easily slip by to 3pm before we meander to the kitchen for round two of our carbohydrates daily load.
I’m fairly certain I will complete the entirety of the internet if this continues beyond May – I wonder if there’s a secret club? I also wonder if this achievement is linked to the loss of sanity? Asking for a friend, naturally.
Boo is loving the amount of craft she’s doing, I’m detesting the amount of craft she’s doing. I’m enjoying all this time we have to read, Boo not so much – are you sensing a theme here? It’s not all doom and gloom I assure you, we’ve always enjoyed a double act level of existence – a mother and daughter ying and yang if you will – and this complete togetherness has only strengthened this, an awareness that comes again from privilege.
So a little more structure and less trepidation for this week’s instalment – slowly getting there, although the question is where is ‘there’.
